"Active recovery."

Image source.

Yesterday I had a therapy session that was slow to start. I could feel Ranjana struggle to engage me. I left there feeling deflated, like I was "too fucked" to help. We ended on some of the traumas I can't seem to let go of, and how they eventually, over time, morphed into something completely different.

Ranjana wants to explore those, which I'm game to, but I don't really understand it. I don't know where it comes from, and I don't know how to grow-away from something so - formative.

The above quote spoke to me today. I need to remind myself that it's one day at a time, and that it's an ongoing process.

It's everyday. And I am changing. And I'm better to myself than I was. And I'm trying.