Looking to TMS, for now.

I'm having a lot of trouble focusing these days. I have resting-anxiety that’s higher than normal, and I can’t get enough sleep. I’ve changed my commute to work in order to walk more, and also to cut from a bus and two metro rides to just one long bus ride. This means I’m on a bus for about 45 minutes to an hour, so I nap twice a day nearly daily. It’s still not enough sleep. It also allows me to read or just sit quietly. Then, once in the city, I have a longer walk uphill so it's a nice start to the day.

Right now my mind is on TMS. I’m considering TMS, and I hope I’m a viable candidate for it. I need a change. I’m afraid and worried, but I’m also at a low point right now and I’m all out of ideas.

So right now, the focus is on TMS. If it’s a yes or a no, I can then move to the next thing, which may be microdosing.

I have an appointment tomorrow with my family doctor, Dr. Rishi. I sent him a letter last week (they don’t have an office e-mail, so I mail him things like a war-time bride) asking him to look up TMS and microdosing before my visit. TMS is offered at the neurology department of the McGill University Health Centre, so it’s an option.

A piece on NPR mentioned TMS being used for "treatment-refractory depression" - which is depression that does not respond to common treatment methods. That sounds like me. I am on a pretty high dosage of anti-depressants and I'm barely functional nonetheless.

I also read a piece in a psychology journal about recent findings:

A recent study presented at the 2016 Annual Meeting of the American Psychiatric Association (APA) in Atlanta, Georgia, investigated the effects of TMS on depressive symptoms in a private practice setting.3 The sample included 123 patients (67.5% female) with MDD who had not responded to an average of 3.9 treatment attempts with antidepressants. The mean number of TMS sessions that patients received was 40.8. 

Following the acute phase of treatment, patients demonstrated a 76.4 to 78.8 response to treatment as indicated by their Beck Depression Inventory (BDI-II) and Patient Health Questionnaire PHQ-9) depression scale scores, and no notable adverse effects occurred during or after treatment. Remission rates were between 52.5 and 72.4, and of these patients, an 80% long-term remission rate was observed among those available for follow-up assessments over a period of more than 4 years. “These findings further establish TMS as a safe, effective and durable treatment option, both acutely and on a continued basis, for those who suffer from a high degree of symptom severity and/or do not gain relief from antidepressant medications,” concluded the authors.

Those are encouraging findings, the article, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation Effective for Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, ends by saying that 60% claimed remission and that 70% showed significant remission. Those numbers aren't nothing.

For now, I just have to wait until tomorrow, where I can talk to Dr. Rishi about it.

Until then.

Update: 

Musician streams TMS treatment live on Facebook.

Also, there's this bit on gut health and the brain and TMS. They seem to correlate TMS with gut-health and weight-loss, but I'd argue if you're less depressed shit gets better in general.

Microdosing and Medical Marijuana.

Rolling Stone has a piece up on micro-dosing marijuana and how it's an increasing trend. Lately, I've been reading a lot about micro-dosing in general, as its shown benefits to some in treating mental illness, and other maladies.

Why Microdosing Is Taking Over Medical Marijuana by Sara Davidson goes into weed specifically:

Humans and other mammals have cannabinoid receptors, which are found throughout the body in tissues, organs, and especially the brain. The body naturally makes chemicals that fit into these receptors, and together they regulate and balance the body's systems, from digestion to nerve signaling to the immune system. Whether by coincidence or evolution, the cannabinoids found in the marijuana plant mimic the endocannabinoids made by the body.

I've been looking into it and discussing it with a friend who's micro-dosing marijuana now - it's really interesting. It seems affordable and with the upcoming legalisation of it all, I have a twinkle of hope. 

I'm worried since I didn't ever really smoke well. I get anxious. So maybe micro-dosing would help anxiety and depression - I just have my doubts about treating severe depression with weed.  I have to keep reading up on it.

Charlotte's Web and CBD.

Charlotte's Web has been consistently name-checked on You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes. Charlotte's Web is a CBD oil that is family business run, sold out of Colorado right now.

Pete has been open about how it's helped with his anxiety and general mood.

Pete's just featured the Stanley Brothers on his podcast:
   

CBD is shown to be a powerful anti-inflammatory and to have just a litany of uses in feeling better. The namesake of the oil is a young girl with severe epilepsy whose mother contacted the brothers in search of someone to help with accessing CBD for her daughter.

According to the interview above, CBD has been classed by the US government as being a neuroprotectant.

They also touch on microdosing, sustainable capitalist business practices, addiction, PTSD, and all sorts of wellness related stuff and the judgements that have suppressed their research and progress in CBD research.

Prohibition also means prohibiting research - which might open up if it's legalised in Canada.

A friend of mine with severe pain has been taking CBD oil for a few months and swears by it. Hers is through a green doctor here in Montreal. It does have THC in it, just a lower dose.

Hopefully, I'll be able to order something comparable through a local doctor, something that's covered by insurance - ideally.

Also I just really like stories of people doing drugs and freaking out/having profound experiences.