You won't be as sad, but you'll gain weight, which will make you sad.

Scientific American has an article on psychiatric drugs and their relation to weight gain. The article says it isn't unusual to gain 20 to 35 pounds over a year or so. It goes on to say:

Depression itself, however, is linked with an increased risk of becoming obese, according to a 2010 analysis that included more than 58,000 people. The reverse holds true as well, the study found; obese people are more likely to suffer from depression. As a result, “it is easy to misattribute the weight gain to a medicine when, in fact, it may largely be related to the illness being treated,” cautions Richard Shelton, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Alabama at Birmingham.

I'm not in a good place this week. I feel bloated and swollen and just exhausted. I have a good week and walk a lot and do some yoga and eat well, and then something happens and I just feel like shit physically and it all feels like work that doesn't actually translate to feeling better.

I feel sick. I feel like there's something wrong with my physically, on top of the emotional pain.

Yesterday I got home and my brain was just so fuzzy. I felt like I was listening to two people talk at the same time. I was overwhelmed. My mother saw it in my face. I was in a similar state Tuesday night too, which she mentioned. I just said, "I feel fuzzy, and weird," while tapping on my forehead.

I have an appointment with my doctor on Monday (the appointment had been cancelled and moved twice over this summer). I've now been on the new medication since early June, so I need to re-visit that with him. I took the day off, so I can sleep in and then drive there. It'll make my week shorter.

Not having any vacation this summer is also getting me down. I need a break. I want to shut down for a few days. I want fresh air and quiet.

I want to go to there: