Criminal: Your money or your life!
Me: You can have my life
[criminal now works at a dead-end job & feels a general sense of melancholy]
— Nice Hippo (@NicestHippo) April 13, 2015
Of course, my version of this goes:
Criminal walks up behind me at ATM.
Criminal: Move over! I'm robbing you!
Me: Fine.
Criminal: *boop* *boop* *beep*
I wait patiently . . . .
Criminal: Jesus you have a lot of debt.
Me: Exactly, fuck right off.
Criminal leaves.
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