Jocelyn K. Glei: What if you’re not broken?

These are hard times, in general, but being quarantined (I'm on my 2nd week) highlights our ability to sit with ourselves (or not).

Currently listening to Jocelyn K. Glei: What if you’re not broken? 

My self-hatred and shame, are on my list as my issues I would like to work through actively this year. They were my main goal, before COVID-19 happened.

I relate to what she posits, that we have this habit of saying, I'll do it, when...

For me, it, romance and love have been blocked by my body, and my shame. My pain.

I have a lot to write these days, but because I stay on a computer all day in my work-from-home-quarantine, I am staying away from it. I am just taking things one day at a time and trying to get through the work I have to do to stay employed and paid.

PTSDiva.

I adore Scott Thompson, this is a link to his podcast, PTSDiva.

Some people skate through life with nary a bump. Others are knocked about like kittens in a dryer. And then’s Scott Thompson (Kids In The Hall, Buddy Cole), who has suffered more abuse than a Lars Von Trier actress. But none of those calamities have kept him down for long! He has instead emerged, if not better, then at least not worse - and always with a funny story. On PTSDiva, Scott talks to other comics about their lowest points, as well as surgeons, priests, and other experts on the human condition. Along the way, he'll share stories from his life, and how they've made him who he is today.

Putting this here so I can listen to his episode with Andy Richter, since I am currently listening to his episode with Richter on Richter's podcast Three Questions.

Host Andy Richter asks the same three questions to each guest: Where do you come from? Where are you going? What have you learned? These three simple questions, when answered honestly and thoughtfully, are enough to provide a pretty complete picture of who a person is. The answers are what Andy always wants to know about people. This will not be a one-sided process, as Andy won’t shy away from getting personal himself.

I love them both!

What's Your Ailment with Maria Bamford.

I haven't had a chance to watch this yet, but I adore Maria Bamford.

Check out her talk show, What's Your Ailment?

Maria Bamford on Three Questions with Andy Richter.

Not everyone has an internal monologue. . . (!!!)

This article has blown my mind, as a tweet blew the mind of the author of the article. It's a chain reaction, brains popping off one after another.

Check out Today I Learned That Not Everyone Has An Internal Monologue And It Has Ruined My Day, where the author of Inside My Mind, well, learns something, that he then wrote about, that then had me learning something.

He mind exploded after reading this - brace yourself!

Fun fact: some people have an internal narrative and some don't

As in, some people's thoughts are like sentences they "hear", and some people just have abstract non-verbal thoughts, and have to consciously verbalize them

And most people aren't aware of the other type of person

— Kyle🌱 (@KylePlantEmoji) January 27, 2020

It is, indeed, blowing my mind. The author went on to ask around about this:

Literally the first person I asked was a classmate of mine who said that she can not “hear” her voice in her mind. I asked her if she could have a conversation with herself in her head and she looked at me funny like I was the weird one in this situation. So I began to become more intrigued. Most people I asked said that they have this internal monologue that is running rampant throughout the day. However, every once in a while, someone would say that they don’t experience this.

I e-mailed myself the article so that later on today I can text all of my friends and ask them about this.

Check out the original post.

Weaning down: Day 9.

Checking in.

9 days in and no side effects so far.

Extremely surprised - but hesitant to even mention it since I could potentially lose my frigan mind at any point in time.

Cautiously optimistic. But barely.

Weaning down.

I asked a GP to write me a subscription for a lower dose.

I was on 150 mg, I'm now on a 75 and a 38.5, totaling 113.50.

I will try this for 6 weeks.

I am on Day 3.

So far so good.

Early days, real skiddish about what tomorrow brings...