Thursday, January 19, 2017

Barely here.

I had problems with my meds at the top of the week. I think I must have forgotten Sunday, and then doubled my dose on Monday, and then had to call in sick on Tuesday because I couldn't wake up. I slept like 16 hours.

When the meds leave my system, I hear zapping, a noise similar to if you block your ear canal with your finger. The sound seems to originate between my ear canal and my brain. I also have trouble moving around, because it's like my vision lags and catches up. So I get this sensation like I just missed a step, but didn't. I can't focus. And if people talk to me it's like I can't focus on them. So when I got home Monday I took another dose of meds ASAP, because even at home I felt fucking awful.

I also feel like I'm losing my fucking mind.

But then I just slept and slept and slept. I wonder if sleeping resets my brain or something.

I feel like I have a sleep disorder and it's fucking getting to me.

So the beginning of the week was a mess.

I'm really just, feeling like an unemployable scumbag these days.

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