Saturday, April 28, 2018

The house that life built.

The last few months have been intense in general because of work and work stressors.

The last few weeks have just been a whirlwind of decisions and luck.

I've been looking at condos and small mini-houses for years. In hopes that I'd learn about the housing market, and you know, also just look at what is out there.

In the last year because of my finally getting a liveable-wage I started looking more seriously, and when a duplex came onto the market I visited with my mother and she started considering that joint venture - something that would benefit us both.

Two weeks ago, on a Tuesday a duplex went on sale in the "old town" of our town. Water-front, historical, and adorable. I was the first to call, it had not yet gone live on all platforms. My mother and I were the first to visit, Wednesday. Of that evening, we were the first of 6 to visit. We made an offer on Friday. Another couple was making an offer on Monday. She presented the offers that Tuesday (one week after the duplex went live) but the other couple pulled out last minute, so our offer was the only one, and it was accepted.

The following Monday we had an inspection. And now next Friday we are having an electrician come in per the suggestions of the inspector. Things are aligning.

Lots of stuff can happen. Financing can fall through, we could find that the place is made entirely of asbestos and batshit - it's just early days.

The first night after making the offer I had a nightmare-induced panic attack that was semi-conscious.

This brings up a lot for me. Financial stability. My ability to "take care of myself," dependence on my mother, fears of my mother passing away and me being solely responsible, my getting sick and not being able to hold-up my side of the bargain. Lots of stuff.

It's also a dream realized. Old town is a childhood dream. A duplex is a sound investment. I'd finally be getting my own living space.

During this time, one of my oldest friends is also visiting from out of province. So it's been socially busy.

Add to all of this, the timing of my contract coming up for renewal, and a job interview for another job that would be closer to home.

All of this in about a 2.5 week period.

Needless to say I'm pooped.

Things are happening.

I'm not overly excited or stressed because so many things are dependent on other things.

I have a "wait and see" mentality on it all.

I  miss writing here, and I look forward to taking the time to write again soon.

Right now it's one day at a time, but for the first time in a long time, it's not a depression-based mantra.

Also, I took out my Mirena, so we'll see if removing my IUD lessens my depression.




Sunday, April 22, 2018

Mental illness, violent crime and the media.