Sunday, October 23, 2016

Atheist spirituals.

It's been a busy two weeks. Last weekend my friend C came down from British-Columbia for a few days. She was visiting her father for his 70th birthday, so she was able to stay at my house for two days before flying back West.

The weekend she was down meant a tight schedule. I took Friday off, spent it with her, dropped her off there, then went to a friend house then picked her up, then this then that then super full scheduling. It was a packed 4 days, so I was tired heading into the next week. That Saturday I had planned a relaxed say with S, watch The Purge: Anarchy. We watched the first Purge together - and she detests horror movies, she watched it out of political conscience, and wanting to discuss it. So then I got her to watch all the sequels with me. So we watched the final chapter while laughing and drinking tea.

That Sunday I got up early to have a last breakfast with C before she headed to the airport, and then I had my date with the dogs at the refuge. It rained all day, which sucked. But I was lucky because my teammate did not show up which could have been hellish, but I only had 6 dogs, so I wasn't overwhelmed. Luckily.

Then I got sick, a cold of some sort, so I stayed home Wednesday, watched the 3rd presidential debate (oh lordy America) and then got back to work.

I'm at home today, Sunday, and am taking the time to sit down and write, since it's been busy and if I don't take the time, nobody will do it for me.

A few official updates.

#1 - I love the new Lady Gaga album. It has a lot of references that I equate to the music my parents listened to when I was little. I hear Bowie, I hear classic rock nods, I hear songwriter nods that remind me of Joe Cocker and those type of sing-along spirituals, only her songs are bout drugs and female friendship. Much more up my alley than an actual spiritual.

Gaga definitely has a lot of religious iconography in her music, some totally over but I've never found her music to be preachy. My main issue with religion is it's a tool to separate and classify, and it's often used to suppress women and just be hateful dicks in general - but her catholicism isn't too guilt-based, it's more "lord help me," and less entitled. What I mean to say is I've never felt alienated listening to her religious references. Maybe that's because I like Gaga enough to have seen her live, and to hear her speak and know how subversive her work is, and how feminist she is.

I've always lamented the fact that I love spirituals but don't identify to their religious tone. I need an atheist spiritual, so songs about friendship, or just life and learning are as good as it gets for me.

There's just so much fucking soul!

I still sing "Down to the River to Pray" in the shower - even though I'm totally godless.

#2 - I just recently finished Stories to Hide from Your Mother by Tess Fragoulis and I loved it. There are parts that are so liquid and surreal, part prose part dreamscape, completely untethered and an absolute poignant representation of the absurdity of womanhood. I cannot recommend it enough.

#3 - my family doctor Dr. Rishi is in between practices which means trying to contact him over the last 2-3 months has been like a shitty version of Where's Waldo. His old clinic says they don't know the new information yet, but I also can't try and get a new doctor because I'm officially attributed to him. I finally got an e-mail from him saying he will not be available until mid-November. Hopefully by then we'll have some news regarding his new clinic.

Yesterday I spent the day with K a friend of friends who was introduced to me first here in Montreal then out in Victoria. She's in the process of converting an old atelier to a mini-house. It already looks amazing. I drove her out to St-Jerome to a specialized tile place, and had breakfast and lunch with her while running errands all around. Got home pretty pooped.

The temperature change has not gone unnoticed for me. I feel it in my bones. It's dark when I wake up, darker by the minute in the evenings - it's a difficult time for me. All I want to do is sleep.

I'm approaching the holidays, then the new year, which has me worrying about finding a job. It's been more than a few months that I've been looking, I don't want to stay where I am too much longer.

I will try and put more of a considered effort in writing, my days have just seemed much shorter as of late.

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