Monday, July 25, 2016

Pet peeves and random loves.

Look, I know this is crazy - to start an official list of my pet peeves - but sometimes one comes up and then I think about their being others and I can never really name them.

So, it's educational-ish.

Also, I'm not including the straight forward stuff. If you're a sexist jackass, that's beyond being a pet peeve that's just like - you're a terrible person and need to work on yourself.

Pet peeves!
  • When someone mispronounces a name on purpose. It's usually continually, and it's usually because the person is of another culture or language group.

  • Other people's mouth noises. Especially the sucking of teeth. Or the wet chewing of gum. Or people who give super wet kisses. It makes my shoulders crunch and makes me swat my ears.

  • Someone cutting their finger nails anywhere but at home or in a salon. This includes at work, at your desk, and also on the subway or bus. You frigan animals.

  • When people act uppity with service staff. Oooof. Hard one for me. Say please and thank you. Be polite. Giving someone shit because you can (which seems like a real thing for some people) is infuriating to watch. Especially young girls/teens in service jobs. I feel like certain men love making things hard for them (because nobody wanted to touch their dicks in high school). I also, love love love stepping in. The 16 year-old Tim Horton's cashier can't call you off because she's trying to keep her job, but I fucking can.

    You've either worked your way through service jobs (like the majority of the population) and can empathise, or you haven't. If you haven't you're part of the 1% and can fuck right off.

  • People who stare-down people who are speaking a "foreign" language. It's one thing to look out of curiosity, but some folks straight-up give stank face. Now, I live in Quebec, the Montreal area specifically, so there is a context here of language-based strife. Having said that, it's 2016, and people speak all sorts of languages, deal with it.

    This flips on its head when it's a small child though. I find that funny. It's happened many a time with friends. We'll be out for a meal at a restaurant and speaking English and a small person will just stare at us. English is alien to some, spoken only by Justin Bieber and other far-away pop culture icons!

    Also, I want to highlight that for ever negative reaction I've had, I've had more of older women and men saying they think it's lovely we're bilingual, or that they wish they spoke two languages, or that they wish they had taken the time to learn English so they could travel comfortably.

    S is one of my closest friends, and she and I speak both languages to each other, equally. She's francophone, I'm an anglophone, and we're both bilingual, so we'll switch back and forth. We were stopped once by a cashier who asked, "Wait, are you two speaking bilingual?" As if it itself is a language. Which it kind of is. It's so culturally specific. I digress!

  • White people with dreadlocks.

  • Dreams that refuse to obey any kind of logic. Like I have reoccurring zombie dreams where the zombies are too god damn fast or smart. Or that I shoot and they refuse to die. There is an established canon brain, don't be a fucking asshole. Then I wake up and think maybe my id is trying to teach me something about the inevitability of death and then I just get annoyed all over again. My brain is fucking exhausting you guys.

Random loves / favourites!
  • Making a complete stranger laugh really hard. Once I was following a co-worker really closely while walking and he decided half-way through a busy intersection that he didn't have enough time and turned around. Instead of making any decisions for myself I just kind of did a physical-comedy silly run behind him and looked like I was a Japanimation fat eggplant freaking out. Once we were safely back on the side walk my co-worker and I laughed heartily and so did the car stopped at the red light in front of us. It was terribly cute.

  • When you pull up to a red light and look over at the car next to you and there's a dog in the passenger seat. Ideally you make eye contact. Best is when the window is open and you can say hello. Tops tops tops is when the window is open, you say hello, their human notices, but you continue to ignore the human and speak only to the dog, but the human's into it.

  • The sound of underwear snapping when I pull them over my butt cheeks. Love it.

  • When a random neighbourhood cat comes up to your patio door and just looks into your house. I inevitably walk up to it to say hello, it freaks out and acts surprised, though the little guy was looking into my house.

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