Thursday, January 7, 2016

It's obviously you.

So it's been since October that I've seen Ranjana. She said she had some vacation time and some health stuff to take care of, but it seems it's been quite long now. 

First, I hope she's well. 

But of course, the second assumption is that it's obviously something I did or said. Maybe she rolled her eyes into another province.

It's reminiscent of that fear of going to see an esthetician for a bikini wax and them being so disgusted with your uniquely fat and horrible body that they quit and kill themselves. 

It's not that dramatic, but it's a "you're the worst I've ever seen" fear. 

I've been feeling okay lately, but there's still a twinge of rejection there. 

Illustration by Hallie Bateman over at BuzzFeed.

I've been trying to work through things through writing and ore creative work, and better self-care practices, but there are still heavy themes I'm stuck on, so I still think therapy could be helpful.

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